“Why are you so quiet?” plus 6 other pet peeves that annoy Introverts

What makes the world interesting is the fact that our personalities make us unique. The majority of people are extroverts while a small percentage are introverts. Ever since I was a kid, I have always been an introvert and it has been so challenging especially that we live in an extroverted world.

I would constantly get asked that classic question “why are you so quiet?” and it honestly makes me feel awkward especially in my culture as we are noted for being loud and outspoken. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy being around extroverts, however, they have some pet peeves that annoy me and I’m sure other introverts agree. Let’s get to it.  

Being asked, “why are you so quiet?”

This one of the worst questions to ask an introvert. When I am around people that I know, I am so comfortable that you would mistake me for an extrovert however if I was in a place where I don’t know anyone, usually, I am studying my surroundings and it takes a while for me to warm up in new social situations. Most of the time I only talk when I have something to say and I prefer to listen than to speak. It’s a bit like me asking an extrovert “Why are you so loud?” It’s not very nice and comes across very rude. 


Unexpected Guests 

Picture this. It’s Friday night and you’re at home enjoying a nice cup of tea watching your favourite film when you hear the doorbell. You open the door only to see three unannounced guests with a bottle of wine who are ready to party and let themselves in without any prior notice to just say “hi”. Let us know if you’re coming over, it really does come a long way and it’s common courtesy. 


Phone Calls

Phone calls are unavoidable and are part of socialising but I generally don’t like talking on the phone. I would rather send a WhatsApp message or use social media to communicate.  



I absolutely hate crowds so concerts and festivals are out of the question. It’s just noise and chaos. Would rather have a small intimate gathering.



Being asked are you ok because you’re quiet?

 This is our natural personality so if we are quiet then it means we are ok. If you obviously see me crying and getting emotional then yes ask that question. 

Being Ignored When You Do Talk Because You’re Too Quiet

This is an annoying one especially when you’re in a group of rowdy, noisy extroverts that won’t give us a chance. You never know if what I would say will have an impact on the subject you’re discussing or a decision you’re trying to make. Give us introverts a chance. 


Being Told To “Smile”

Just because you don’t see introverts smile it doesn’t mean that we are unfriendly or moody or unhappy. We could be deep in our thoughts or just don’t feel like smiling at that particular moment. 


So please be mindful of introverts. We are harmless and just want to be accepted as we are. 


Are you an introvert? What are pet peeves annoy you that aren’t on the list? 


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